Do I "have it"?

I was filling up my car at the gas station today, leaning back in my driver's seat with my legs dangling out the door, reading a magazine while waiting for my huge tank to get filled with the $3 commodity I rely upon. I don't notice the person on the other side of the pump until I get up to unplug the pump from my car and he's staring at me (in a non-creepy way) and gives me a head nod. I smile and continue about my business, get in my car and leave, the whole time very self-conscious because he watched me the entire time.

He was attractive, he clearly found me attractive (or at least interesting in some way), but why was it so unsettling for him to watch me? I don't know if I am still getting used to the attention from men, or if it somehow feels different now that I am turning my attentions to only one man... am I going to come to rely on these random gas station interactions to prove that I "still have it," like one of my friends does? I don't want to need a random person's approval to think I "have it."

I wonder if R. thinks I'm hot. Like, when I walk in the door of his condo or walk out to greet him somewhere, does he look at me and go, "man, she is hot!"? I look at him and think, "man, he is good-lookin'!" and it makes me want to run up and put my arms around his trim waist and snuggle into his big shoulders. But does he feel the same? Does he see me and react the same way? Because if he does, he sure doesn't show it!

Maybe I have to "man up" and take the affection lead, as long as I'm going to take the lead with asking if he is my boyfriend. Might as well, it's not like I'm considering dating anyone else anyway, and sometimes I want to say something and have to just call him my friend, which is not really the truth.