Friday, June 29, 2007

internet dating

So last night I pulled double duty on the internet dating front. First, I went to play basketball with my boys at this court, where I invited the “6’3”, 225 pound” former quarterback to meet me. He was probably 5’11 ½ and, indeed, 225 pounds. Needless to say, I was not impressed by his constant trash-talking, lack of real conversation, and terrible shot.

I get home from playing basketball and have an email waiting for me from another internet responder to my embarrassing craigslist post, only this guy, who we will call backwardshat, is like 4 times hotter than the other one in his picture, which means that in real life he should only be half as bad as the basketball player. He says he’s headed to a bar to grab a drink and if I wanna come meet him, here’s what he’s wearing.

I call up my oldest friend, ask if she’s up for an adventure, and we’re off. At the bar, we sit and talk with this new fella for probably an hour or so, and while pretty much every single one of his stories revolves around drinking, the boy is HOT! His picture did not disappoint… for how much bballboy disappointed, backwardshat totally made up for it. So we *might* go out tonight. We’ll see.

Another weekend, another set of adventures…

Thursday, June 28, 2007

It's that easy

I have a date with Adamman... no that's not his name, but in the interest of anonymity that is what we shall call him, since he sold me an ottoman once. That led to us talking on the phone a lot, trying to date, but we never actually went on a date, though he did help me move my entertainment center into my house. And by help I mean, he moved it and I watched. So we lost touch over the last, say, two months, but in my newfound singledom I decided that I should stop by the store he works at and ask him to the dinner I owed him--for helping me move the entertainment center, obvi.

He was excited to see me, hugged me, and said that yes, I did owe him dinner. I asked when he wanted to go and he said it'd have to be Monday. I agreed, and we're doing late dinner (after my volleyball game) on Monday. Which I was happy about, until I realized that Monday is kind of an odd date night. But then, our whole courtship has been odd and sporadic and it is probably more fitting that we do casual Monday than High-Pressure Friday. So I'm excited! And that was easy. :-)

So I'm playing matchmaker with cute Cali boy... one of my girl friends thinks he's cute... yes! Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match...

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Gym hottie needs a nickname

Until I find out his actual name, the hot guy at my gym needs a nickname. McDreamy is already taken (and cheesy as hell), so what will I use? There aren't any puns with Gym other than the name Jim and everything else I think of is cheesy: Mr. Lifter, Hottie McLifterson, Weightroom Wonder... I mean, come on! These are godawful, but I can't think of anything. So I will continue to refer to him as the hot guy at my gym. Or maybe as thehotguyatmygym.

In any case, last night I was at the gym, doing my bicep curls when I suddenly realized that there he was--thehotguyatmygym. I needed to pair my bicep curls with tricep extensions and there he freakin' was, doing tricep extensions on a bench close to me. The only other available bench was directly in front of him. Are you kidding me?! So I did what any weightlifter would do... went right on ahead and laid down on my bench, did my tricep extensions, and went on like it was no big deal. In the middle of bicep curl #22 (of 24, so I'm struggling a bit here), I catch him looking at me in the mirror... great, as I'm grunting and struggling with my manly weight. Fabulous.

I head off to another part of the gym (have to seem like I don't care that he's there) and then come back when the machine I want is taken. I go to the weight rack, but he's using it as his own personal workout area, despite the fact that his (great) body is blocking anyone from access the 15-20lb weights. I smile at him and ask sweetly-sarcastically, "Did you wanna use the whole weight rack?" He takes a headphone out of an ear to hear me, so I repeat my (bad) joke and he laughs. YAY! Meanwhile, I notice that all 5'9" of me barely reaches his shoulder. Nice.

So I take my weights and go away, and we don't talk again. Baby steps. I don't like talking during my workouts either, I had just forgotten my headphones. :-) Progress is progress!

Speaking of progress, I talked to one of my craigslist suitors on IM last night (ps haven't IMed in at least 6 months), turns out he's three years younger than me... doubtful about that one. I think this is why people internet date though, because if you don't like someone anymore, you don't have to face the consequences, you can just delete them or stop responding...

Anyway, not at all worried about the me and R. breakup... happy!

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Breakup bag + craigslist

Hello... a bit early for a post, I know, but I had to talk. Yesterday I went shopping and bought myself a fabulous look-at-me red breakup bag. You might not agree, but I find that a new fantastic, bright accessory that cost me a mere ten dollars does about as much for me as crying it out... maybe more, since it preps me for the future!

I'm happy.

I also posted an ad on craigslist, on a whim late last night, and it was pretty cocky. But I didn't want to deal with wimps who can't handle my athleticism, so that's what I posted. I got back 32 responses (and counting) within 8 hours... crazy. And only three were worth my time responding... sort of like the odds at a bar. 32 men, I'm lucky to see three worth talking to. :-) So that could be interesting, though I think I might have a hard time following through and ever actually meeting one of these people.

Anyway, just wanted to let blog readers (again, do I have those?) that despite my crazy, rambly, disconnected post yesterday, I am okay today and I am going to be back in the game. The thing is, R. opened my eyes to a new level of guys and relationships, so he set the bar higher, and I'm glad. I'm also glad I've gotten the player-ness out of my system and realize that it is okay to settle down--for the right fella!

...to more adventures...

Monday, June 25, 2007

Oh the irony! and also, you should know that I am ugly

Well friends, we knew that I was destined to be a dating blogger forever... R. and I broke up. I don't really see how you can break up when you weren't exactly together, but apparently I have been dumped, so maybe I'm just bitter.

Here's the thing though: I'm sad, and I cried, but I think I'm more sad about the failure of my first real relationship in many years than I am about the loss of R. himself. After all, he was too into his structured routine for me, among other things.

What he said was that he just didn't feel passionate about our relationship. I understand, we never did anything but kiss, and even that wasn't that good. So maybe I didn't feel passion either. But what if no passion means that he thinks I'm ugly? Could be.

But it doesn't mean I'm ugly, it just means he's not attracted to me. Except I still feel kind of ugly.

Besides the ugliness, there is that in typical me fashion, he tells me that I'm his best friend and he wants us to stay close. Which would be fine if my actual best friend, who happened to be a guy, hadn't died less than three months ago. I told him that would be much harder for me than dating, and he didn't really seem to get it. More reasons he's right and we shouldn't keep dating. Also, I don't know what age his parents divorced. Or what he was like in high school. Or how he felt about what he was like in high school. Or what he thinks about his ten-year reunion. Whatever.

It's all just funny. And it's all just life. And it's all prepping me for the greatness that is to come...

...for instance, I remembered that now that I don't have a kinda-boyfriend, I can start scheming about ways to get that super hot guy at the gym to talk to me... yessss!

Oh, also, he said he decided this before this weekend, but didn't want to tell me before my friends came into town. Which just pissed me off, because it means when we held hands and kissed and flirted on Friday and Saturday, it was all just a lie.

My mom called him a BASSHOLE last night... she couldn't decide between bastard and asshole, so she accidentally combined the two. I love her.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Do I "have it"?

I was filling up my car at the gas station today, leaning back in my driver's seat with my legs dangling out the door, reading a magazine while waiting for my huge tank to get filled with the $3 commodity I rely upon. I don't notice the person on the other side of the pump until I get up to unplug the pump from my car and he's staring at me (in a non-creepy way) and gives me a head nod. I smile and continue about my business, get in my car and leave, the whole time very self-conscious because he watched me the entire time.

He was attractive, he clearly found me attractive (or at least interesting in some way), but why was it so unsettling for him to watch me? I don't know if I am still getting used to the attention from men, or if it somehow feels different now that I am turning my attentions to only one man... am I going to come to rely on these random gas station interactions to prove that I "still have it," like one of my friends does? I don't want to need a random person's approval to think I "have it."

I wonder if R. thinks I'm hot. Like, when I walk in the door of his condo or walk out to greet him somewhere, does he look at me and go, "man, she is hot!"? I look at him and think, "man, he is good-lookin'!" and it makes me want to run up and put my arms around his trim waist and snuggle into his big shoulders. But does he feel the same? Does he see me and react the same way? Because if he does, he sure doesn't show it!

Maybe I have to "man up" and take the affection lead, as long as I'm going to take the lead with asking if he is my boyfriend. Might as well, it's not like I'm considering dating anyone else anyway, and sometimes I want to say something and have to just call him my friend, which is not really the truth.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

My roomie comes to town tomorrow!

I know I'm still taking this me and R. thing too seriously, because when we're together it's good, so why worry about everything else, ya know? Like we don't need to talk every day, he doesn't need to call me back when there's nothing to say... and yet I wish he WANTED to. Although I don't know that he doesn't want to, I just know that he doesn't.

My old roomie is coming in to town this weekend, which I am excited about for many reasons, the least of which is that it will allow me to clear my head of R. thoughts. He'll be hanging out out with us, but that's what's important--he will be hanging out with US, not she will be hanging out with him and me.

I love this roomie, she is the sweetest, most genuine person but has the craziest sense of going out and partying... she's an amazing combo and I can't wait to see her again. Her brother is coming too, and he's the same as her, but in boy form. I love them both, which is why I'm so stoked for this weekend.

Also, the Cali boy from run club is still emailing me and might come with us to play volleyball on Saturday. I'm not trying to play anyone here, but I'm worried I'm getting into one of those situations where I am accidentally leading someone on... but I'm just being friendly, he's new to town, and I've never tried to hit on him. Then again, he's never met R.

I wonder if I should just ask R. if he's my boyfriend? Put it on him, right? But that still means I brought up the DTR... dang it!

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

This is why I started this blog!

Just when I was beginning to think that the world is full of the irony that the moment you start a blog about crazy dating experiences, nothing happens to you and you settle down with someone for the first time in forever, last night's road flirting incident happens and I am reassured that all is right in my world.

I go over to R.'s, we have a nice time, etc. I like him a lot. :-) So I'm going home a little after midnight and I'm at a stoplight when an SUV pulls up next to me and a very attractive, shirtless, tattooed man motions for me to roll my window down. Of course I do, and he asks for directions to the highway, which I gladly give him.

At the next stoplight, he rolls up to me again and waits for me to roll my window down again. When I do, he yells over, "You are the cutest woman I have ever seen!" We both laugh, and I say thanks. He asks where I'm going, my dog barks at him, and I say home. We chat a bit more, and then we part ways.

It was funny. I love Austin.

I finally bought a membership at the gym yesterday, and got a good deal too. My membership consultant told me that he was tired of seeing me at the gym and I told him that he better not say that, I just bought a year membership from him! He laughed and said he meant only at the gym, he wanted to go out. But he didn't press it and I skirted the issue, so nothing happened. I don't know how to handle that! I normally just laugh and leave it alone, which works.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

I'm a boy

1) We're playing volleyball last night, and one of my good friends says that the girls will rotate in for each other, and then names off all the girls... but leaves my name out. "What about me?!" I ask, only half-mad.
He looks at me and says without even a hint of sarcasm, "You're not a girl, you're one of the guys."

2) I'm talking about wanting to walk to this festival this weekend, and R. shoots down the idea, saying, "We'd sweat our balls off."
"I don't have balls," I point out.
"Yes, you do."

3) On the phone with my mom: "Mom, I got called a boy twice today." Then I proceed to rant about R. (details coming) and not five minutes later she says, apparently unaware of the irony, "So you're the boy in the relationship?"

... I have long been "one of the boys" and have long considered my psyche more akin to that of the opposite gender in ways that I handle relationships, both romantic and platonic. I also enjoy sports, cars, and beer, which are all stereotypical manly pursuits. I have never had a problem with it, and it has helped me earn street cred as a basketball player. But it might be causing problems now.

After three hours of volleyball last night, R. wanted me to stop by his house. He knew I was sweaty and sandy, yet he wanted me to come over, since we hadn't seen each other in a week. I don't have a problem with being dirty, and he invited me knowing the circumstances, so naturally I went. He didn't kiss me. Not when I came in, not while I stood there for an hour, not when I left.

Okay, I might have smelled like outdoors, sand and sweat, and I know my dog smelled like the sewage she played in, but despite it all I am an attractive individual, and my lips certainly weren't dirty. I lick them, after all. WTF?!

This rant isn't about him not liking me. I'm past that stage. Is he not physically attracted to me? Am I too relaxed... or too much like a boy? Which brings me to my other point, which is that I am worried that this has something to do with my athleticism. He said casually, "so you've been playing a lot of volleyball lately." I replied, "Yeah! It's so fun! I'm trying to get good!" He pressed me on why I wanted to get good, and didn't seem to really understand.

Who doesn't want to be good at sports?! I'm not used to being some cute mildly athletic girl who tries to play sports... I've played sports at elite levels (division I basketball and track) and am very competitive, so of course I don't want to suck at volleyball! Besides, it's an amazing challenge to teach your body new ways to react, new techniques to get the ball where you want it to go, and to learn the timing of how to spike or serve a ball. It's just awesome!

And see, that's me. That's who I am. Meeting me at run club, an athletic event, you'd think R. would understand that about me... but maybe not. But that isn't going to change. So maybe, if I'm being the boy and all into sports and such, I'm going to have to make the moves... maybe that's what this means. If I'm going to talk the talk of being the boy, perhaps I should walk the walk?

Monday, June 18, 2007

Maxin' and Relaxin'

I'm maxin' my understanding and relaxin' my self. And I am a HUGE cheeseball. Sorry.

So I chilled the f&*^ out and had a fantastic solo weekend. Friday consisted of happy hour with a good old friend, a little harmless flirtin' with the Val Kilmer look-alike next to us, and dinner with my dad. Then I walked to the Blockbuster, which made me happy, since most things aren't close enough to my house to walk. Saturday I got to work out, then took my dog for an off-leash adventure hiking Turkey Creek, which turned out awesome, except when my dog ran through cactus. Bummer. Nightime was simply dinner and a movie. Sunday, cleaned and played volleyball, then baked low fat, low-sugar cupcakes (glorious! I am a kitchen genius!) for dessert after Father's Day dinner at Outback... mmmm, delicious. I even pretended to pay, using my dad's credit card. Awesome.

Last night R. and I chatted on the phone finally, and it seemed like everything was normal. Do normal people who go out of town not talk and only text message? Probably with stubborn girls like me who refuse to do the calling, that is the norm. Dang it! One of my neighbors was talking about his new girlfriend, who he absolutely adores. She was out of town this weekend and he casually mentioned that they'd been talking on the phone every night as, "she calls me every night." So then I wondered if I was failing as a girl, because they are IN A RELATIONSHIP and she still calls every night and he loves it...

... but I don't wanna call every night. I'm okay with the random text message. I'm independent, remember?! Haha. I am in an odd mood, sorry, if anyone reads this, that it is so here-there-and-everywhere. :-)

Friday, June 15, 2007

Ok, I flipped out a tad

At least when I act like one of those crazy girls, I know it and come around...

So perhaps my fear of relationships has caused me to take this one just a smidge too seriously. Number one, he will come back from Dallas. I know I have issues about that because I was talking on the phone with my best friend, on his way to College Station, making plans for the weekend, and then he was killed in CS. That was only two months ago. But that's not normal, people normally return from trips. I also should be allowed to have this fear, but R. may not know I do, so to him I'm just acting crazy.

Which, admittedly, I AM. I'm so terrified of being in a relationship and it not working, so then I would swear off relationships altogether, that I am putting too much pressure on this relationship. I am hyper-analyzing every little thing, like why didn't he come over that night? (A: He had to pack and iron and get ready to leave... why didn't I go over?) Why didn't he kiss me goodbye? (A: we were in his office, and he did kiss both of my cheeks) Blah blah and failing to take enough note of those things which are important and should be weighted far more than these silly self-doubts: that he came to my mom's birthday dinner last week, that he routinely tells his co-workers about me and what I'm up to, that his mom asks about me, that he texted me last night at 1:30 am when he's happily out on the town, drunk, with all of his old friends.

Those are what matter, that he's thinking about me. And I have to keep reminding myself that it is in fact all of these things that make me still like him, and make me want to be in a relationship with him. Because were he too eager to hang out, I would be bored. So I am going to attempt to stop hyper-analyzing every little thing.

...like the fact that he hasn't responded to the text I sent him four hours ago... he's just busy enjoying his friends and family, and it's not like it really warranted a response...

Now I have a weekend goal: relax. Being in a relationship does not change who I am as a person. I do not wear this badge that says, I HAVE A BOYFRIEND! So chill I will.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

That's a doozy

Yesterday was a doozy. Where to begin? I invited this random guy who was looking for a running club on craigslist to my run club (where R. and I met, actually) and he came and was awesome--just a really cool guy. Not interested in dating him, but probably would have been, were there no R. Well R. didn't come to the run, and I knew he wasn't going to, but he said he would stop by, and he didn't do that either.

R. is going out of town this weekend, and last time he went out of town it was this big ordeal and I had to sleep over to make sure he got up and all this. So I was a little upset/disappointed that he apparently didn't care enough to even STOP BY to say hey. We haven't seen each other since Sunday and won't until at least next week, which is a far longer time than the time he went out of town and made such a big deal out of it. So I don't get it. I don't get why this isn't a big deal anymore and why he wasn't making an effort to see me.

All this on top of the fact that I actually told him I liked him on Sunday night and there has been no response, verbal or otherwise. Except apparently not wanting to see me. But of course, it is always a two-way street, and I'm sure in his mind I'm not making a very big effort to see him before he goes and last time I came over but I refused to last night (his fault he didn't stop by, his fault he's going out of town, no reason I'm going over. And yes, I am way too stubborn for my own good.)

So I'm frustrated, and this is why I don't get into relationships. I don't deal well with the actual liking of someone and actual feelings for them. I don't deal well with the feelings of wanting to see him and trying to hold back because I don't want to seem too clingy. I don't deal well with any of this, and yet I'm not interested in anyone else because of R.!

I am frustrated. And I have tons of plans for this weekend, with friends, so perhaps that will remove my mind from him, refresh me, and put me back into a good space with being with him.

Hopefully.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

I am in it

I'm in it. I'm committing. I'm with R.

I offered to spectate last night.

If you know me at all, you know that I do not spectate. I would rather play than watch. Sure, I love watching the NBA Finals and college football, but that's mainly because I can't play in games in either of those sports (although I am a pretty good receiver...). But last night, I offered to go watch R.'s soccer game. I didn't end up going, but I still offered, and he still thought it was really sweet, and it was all couple-y.

I mean, I've watched other people's sports before. Like I used to go to THE EX's softball games. But we were together, and it was my duty. So by offering to go spectate, which was actually something I WANTED to do, I was claiming it as my duty, thereby proclaiming myself as... well, you know.

Now, I know this is only in my head, and it doesn't make anything different between us as far as "definitions" go. It's not like I've told him that spectating, or the offering of, is a definitive sign, I just think it is in the course of my understanding of relationships. So that's why I declare "I am in it" now.

I am. I am in it. And I'm going to happy hour with another guy on Friday. But he's just a friend.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Better Together Alone

Aren't those the lyrics to a song? I think they are, but I can't be sure. I know a lot of music, but I never know how I know it or where I know it from or whose it is.

So Monday nights I play volleyball. R. goes and works out. And then last night we both ended up watching a movie, but apart. In our own little condos. Perhaps we're better together alone. We're both so independent we watch movies together alone. How annoying!

Because tell me this: what is the point of having a, you know, dating partner (no, I won't say the b-friend word until he says the g-friend word first. And he probably feels the same way, and we'll wait each other out until one slips and it will probably be me and I'll be pissed), so anyway what is the point of having a dating partner if you don't see each other?! I know, I know, it's one night. But we're not seeing each other tonight, and he's leaving for the weekend on Thursday, so we're only going to see each other on Wednesday night around a bunch of other people. Whoopee. We might not even kiss, because we haven't come to a consensus on the public kissing of hello and goodbye yet.

More reasons I don't date exclusively: my condo complex is only about half full right now, but when I went home at lunch today, there was a moving truck with some phenomenally attractive young men unloading things... now, they could have just been movers, and admittedly you aren't supposed to date/hookup with people who you have to face every day, sometimes multiple times a day, for a very extended period of time (it IS a condo complex, we all own the space we live in!), but nonetheless I drove away with visions of these two hotties dancing in my head.

And then I got back to the office, had an email from R. that made me smile uncontrollably, and the movers were forgotten until it came time to write the blog. Maybe, just maybe, I will be able to date R.

Just because you've already ordered doesn't mean you can't look at the menu, right?

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Monday, June 11, 2007

I don't know how to be in a relationship

I really don't know how to be in a relationship. I know how to run game, play around, not like people... I don't understand the feeling of wanting to be around someone all the time, getting mopey when they don't return my call for two hours with no explanation, having the compulsion to tell them that I like them--this is ridiculous! And one wonders why I don't get into relationships.

The thing is, I've always said that the only guy who will capture my (extended) attention is one that is as independent as I am. But now I appear to have found him, and it's harder than I thought. Not because of him, but because of me, because I'm not used to wanting to spend so much time with someone besides myself and my friends...

The triple date on Friday was actually pretty awesome (minus my dad barking like a dog in the kennel, er, cargo area of the SUV we drove in, so all six of us could fit in one car). We ate and laughed and teased and went to another spot for dessert and went back to my parents' house to see the view and it was just a blast, I laughed all night long. My dad told R. that he fit in with the family really well. And R. said he had a great time.

Saturday night we did a date night at the movies, and that was fun, and then Sunday he came and played volleyball with my fam and then my friends. All in all, a great, easy, laid-back weekend. But the thing is that he didn't call me all day Saturday--which wasn't a thing, really, because apparently it was my fault because I didn't return a text message and he's just about as stubborn as I am when it comes to being the one putting himself out there with multiple attempts at contact--and I finally called him and he didn't even call me back for like 2 1/2 hours! Which, in all fairness, I probably would have done if I had sent him a text and he hadn't responded and then didn't call until 5, I probably would have made him wait too. But that's MY gig, not his!

So, last night I had to call him and tell him that I really like him and that it freaks me out. And it partially freaks me out just because that's who I am, and it partially freaks me out because my best friend died recently, and he was the closest person, let alone guy, to me in my entire life--so I'm irrationally afraid that R. will die too... he, of course, was a great listener as I told him this and told me that he wasn't going to die. He can't really make that promise, of course, but it was nice that he went ahead and did. :-)

I really do like him. Ugh. :-P

Friday, June 8, 2007

Hand holding

I often profess to hate PDA. But I absolutely love holding hands. Is this hypocritical? Because if you think about it, PDA means Public Displays of Affection, and what could be more affectionate than holding hands? It is mutually exclusive with affection: you don't hold hands with someone you don't genuinely adore. Kissing isn't mutually exclusive with affection, sometimes it can be just passion (or alcohol?)... but hand holding, it's the real deal. It's a physical union of the most innocent type.

But at the same time, is hand holding a public statement of coupleness, and therefore worse than PDA? It's like the bodies attached to the two hands are so proud of themselves that they want to tell everyone? I don't think so, but it makes me wonder... because nothing says "we're a couple!" like holding hands.

So when R. and I walked the streets of Austin last night holding hands, were we being super cute and affectionate or super proud and showing each other off? Maybe it has the most to do with how you feel. I wasn't looking around to see who saw me with him, I was basking in the warmth of his grasp, so that makes our hand holding more the former and less the latter?

Ew, I'm getting so mushy. Basking in the warmth of his grasp? The thing is though, I WAS BASKING! I loved it! I love holding hands! I love seeing other people hold hands!

Despite my big talk, I think I am a sap deep down. In moderation.

Thursday, June 7, 2007

My Mom Messages R. on Myspace

This whole spectacle is somehow really funny yet really weird at the same time... my mom's birthday is tomorrow night, and if you will remember, my mom and R. are friends on myspace. They go so far as to call each other BFF--jokingly, of course.

So my mom calls me last night and says, "I'm inviting R. to my birthday party! It's going to be your aunt and uncle, me and dad, and you and R.!"

"Great, a double date with my parents."

"No, your aunt and uncle will be there too!" she says, a bit tongue-in-cheek. I say fine, but she has to invite him, no way I'm inviting a man I'm dating-but-we-don't-know-to-what-extent to couples dinner with the fam for my mom's birthday. She says fine.

So I'm at work today when I get an absolutely delighted text message from R. saying that his BFF invited him out tomorrow night and he's so excited! Cute. The disturbing part is the realization that you could say that my mom actually invited my ??dating partner?? on a date--for me. Awesome.

Good thing I like my fam. And it's a REAL good thing R. likes me.

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Conversations

R. and I on the phone last night, as he was still in Atlanta:

R: I told Kristi about your "I'm not a fan" and she said that you are so funny. She also said you are a keeper. Actually, everyone that's met you has said you're a keeper.
Me: Aww.
R: I tell them all that I've already broken up with you.
Me: Oh, that's nice. Were you going to tell me?
R: Yeah, about that, can we have a talk?
Me: Well, let's see, can I pencil you in next week?
R: Sure, I know you're busy.
Me: Great.
R: Now, I know we haven't talked about dating or whatever, but I just want to tell you that I want to be the first guy to dump you. So if we get to that point, and we're gonna break up, could you just tell me so that I can do it first?
Me: Absolutely not. I have a reputation to uphold.


Not thirty minutes later, my best friend calls from Houston:

N: How's R.?
Me: Good. I think we almost had a DTR.
N: And?
Me: Well we didn't, but we could soon. We might be together soon.
N: This from the girl who doesn't do relationships?
Me: It's not about the relationship, I don't care if we call it that or not, I just want to be with him.
N: I'm going to throw up.
Me: You'd never believe what I did.
N: Did you do his laundry?!
Me:: Close. I unloaded and loaded his dishwasher. I don't even unload and load my own dishwasher!
N: Oh, that's it. You've gone down a path you can't return from. You're done.
Me: I just wanted to make him less stressed... he's normally cleaner than I am!
N: Now you're making excuses for him? This is how it all begins.
Me: How's J? (her ex boyfriend she's recently rekindled a romance with, who happens to live in Australia for the time being...)
N: Good. We had a webcam date last week.
[silence]
Me: YOU HAD A WEBCAM DATE?! You're giving me hell for unloading the dishwasher when you had a webcam date?!
N: I hope you get diarrhea.

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Raining, pouring, no one is snoring...

So once before I mentioned that old saying, when it rains, it pours. Well the showers had held off for a little while, but the clouds rolled back in and it is once again raining men.

...Men from my past, that is. The ex I once had to take to the hospital for a drug overdose sent me a little note today wondering how I was doing. The ex that was my ex twice--or is it thrice?--sent me a little note today wondering how I've been. Literally, that was the note. "How have u been?"

The thing about my big talker is that this happens at the beginning of EVERY SUMMER. We met about seven summers ago, five went by without us talking, and then two summers ago he sent me a similarly cryptic message that led to us dating. I, of course, was dating two other guys simultaneously, so when we drifted apart and he stopped calling, I didn't really care. I let it go without a fight.

A year went by, so at the beginning of last summer, he called again. I went to see him (he lives about an hour away from me). This time he apologized for the previous summer and couldn't believe that I could be so forgiving of his disappearing act. I made this mistake of admitting that I was dating others, so it didn't really bother me. This revelation, however, apparently bothered him, and we never spoke again. I put up a mini-fight this time, leaving him ONE message that said something along the lines of, I can't believe we're doing this again, the not-calling without reason why. But no response, and I was moving out to L.A., so again, I didn't really care.

You might think I don't really care about the guy, but I do. I adore him. He's silly and strong and smart and shy and southern, all sorts of things I love. We've just never been on the same page, not even when we met so long ago.

... so it's funny that we're going for summer #3. Only, this time I have a ... oh man, I almost said it. I think it's true. But I can't say it first, not even to my blog and my reader(s?!)... anyway, this time I am not single single single, like I have been the other two times. This could be interesting. Or I could never hear from him again... which could be interesting too.

R. has been keeping in touch with me from Atlanta, which is fun, but more fun is getting the 2 am drunk text message that says he misses me. That's legit. :-)

Monday, June 4, 2007

Meeting the Parents

So after partaking in the highly couples-esque activity of helping him to choose a tie--at the mall, no less!--he says he has to drop by his mom's house to pick up a suitcase to pack for the business trip he leaves on the next day.

"You can sit in the car," he says. Yeah right! The line he told me two weeks earlier about meeting my parents came back verbatim at him: "I'm not afraid of meeting your parents."

So we go inside. I am dressed for a day at the mall in layered spaghetti strap tanks, cargo capris, flip flops and curly beach hair--not exactly ideal for a first impression, but at least it's cute. Mom is cute, stepdad is super nice, little step sister is cute, all is well. We end up chatting for about an hour, and it's nice. R. looks like he's about ready to hang himself.

We leave (hugs all around! I'm not a hand-shaker, I just can't do it. BUT mama went in for the hug, not me! score!) and not five minutes later, R. gets a TEXT MESSAGE from his stepdad: "Your mom and I voted. Two thumbs up."

First of all, whose parents text message?! Second of all, score again! I'm in like flint. (I don't even know what that saying means, but my mom says it all the time) We went home to pack and eat pizza and hang out before he left on his long business trip.

He'll be back Thursday, but don't expect silence from me in his absence... things are never quiet in my world.

Friday, June 1, 2007

My Friends React

I have this good friend from high school who plays all these sports with me and has known me through many a love interest, and few boyfriends (obviously, as this is the story of my life).

So when we hung out last night and I mentioned that I thought R. and I might be at that point where some might maybe possibly call us together, she--and she is not very dramatic by nature, mind you--with a gasp, doubled over at the waist and clutched herself. As she stood back up she said plaintively, "nooo! I don't know what I'd do. It changes my whole world view."

Now, some might be insulted by this, as if her friends never believed she'd find a mate; but I felt a hint of pride. I love/d being single--I love the thrill of the chase, and I get bored easily. So I was glad she reacted the way it did, it was somehow reaffirming that I am an independent woman.

But that's why I think things are so good with R., so far. Because I'm still an independent woman, and he's never expected less. He would be confused if I wanted to be together all the time (though he'd probably like it)... and that's why I like him.

Someone wrote in to my blog--I didn't even know anyone but me read it!--and said congrats on getting my man, which was nice, and I'm so excited someone cared enough to comment! But at the same time, I must admit that I bristled a bit at being told it was great that I got a man. The whole proud-of-being-single thing really has been a badge of honor of sorts that I have worn for a long time...

... a badge of honor because it's not like I ever suffered from lack of male attention--I CHOSE to be picky and single. But what if it wasn't something I wanted and I had it? I don't know what that would be like, because as long as I can remember I've been this way, the independent way, the one who'd rather play basketball on a Friday night than go out.

But now I'm off to go snuggle in for a movie night. It's Friday night and I'm snuggling in for a movie... oh how the times have changed.