I don't know how to be in a relationship

I really don't know how to be in a relationship. I know how to run game, play around, not like people... I don't understand the feeling of wanting to be around someone all the time, getting mopey when they don't return my call for two hours with no explanation, having the compulsion to tell them that I like them--this is ridiculous! And one wonders why I don't get into relationships.

The thing is, I've always said that the only guy who will capture my (extended) attention is one that is as independent as I am. But now I appear to have found him, and it's harder than I thought. Not because of him, but because of me, because I'm not used to wanting to spend so much time with someone besides myself and my friends...

The triple date on Friday was actually pretty awesome (minus my dad barking like a dog in the kennel, er, cargo area of the SUV we drove in, so all six of us could fit in one car). We ate and laughed and teased and went to another spot for dessert and went back to my parents' house to see the view and it was just a blast, I laughed all night long. My dad told R. that he fit in with the family really well. And R. said he had a great time.

Saturday night we did a date night at the movies, and that was fun, and then Sunday he came and played volleyball with my fam and then my friends. All in all, a great, easy, laid-back weekend. But the thing is that he didn't call me all day Saturday--which wasn't a thing, really, because apparently it was my fault because I didn't return a text message and he's just about as stubborn as I am when it comes to being the one putting himself out there with multiple attempts at contact--and I finally called him and he didn't even call me back for like 2 1/2 hours! Which, in all fairness, I probably would have done if I had sent him a text and he hadn't responded and then didn't call until 5, I probably would have made him wait too. But that's MY gig, not his!

So, last night I had to call him and tell him that I really like him and that it freaks me out. And it partially freaks me out just because that's who I am, and it partially freaks me out because my best friend died recently, and he was the closest person, let alone guy, to me in my entire life--so I'm irrationally afraid that R. will die too... he, of course, was a great listener as I told him this and told me that he wasn't going to die. He can't really make that promise, of course, but it was nice that he went ahead and did. :-)

I really do like him. Ugh. :-P