That's a doozy

Yesterday was a doozy. Where to begin? I invited this random guy who was looking for a running club on craigslist to my run club (where R. and I met, actually) and he came and was awesome--just a really cool guy. Not interested in dating him, but probably would have been, were there no R. Well R. didn't come to the run, and I knew he wasn't going to, but he said he would stop by, and he didn't do that either.

R. is going out of town this weekend, and last time he went out of town it was this big ordeal and I had to sleep over to make sure he got up and all this. So I was a little upset/disappointed that he apparently didn't care enough to even STOP BY to say hey. We haven't seen each other since Sunday and won't until at least next week, which is a far longer time than the time he went out of town and made such a big deal out of it. So I don't get it. I don't get why this isn't a big deal anymore and why he wasn't making an effort to see me.

All this on top of the fact that I actually told him I liked him on Sunday night and there has been no response, verbal or otherwise. Except apparently not wanting to see me. But of course, it is always a two-way street, and I'm sure in his mind I'm not making a very big effort to see him before he goes and last time I came over but I refused to last night (his fault he didn't stop by, his fault he's going out of town, no reason I'm going over. And yes, I am way too stubborn for my own good.)

So I'm frustrated, and this is why I don't get into relationships. I don't deal well with the actual liking of someone and actual feelings for them. I don't deal well with the feelings of wanting to see him and trying to hold back because I don't want to seem too clingy. I don't deal well with any of this, and yet I'm not interested in anyone else because of R.!

I am frustrated. And I have tons of plans for this weekend, with friends, so perhaps that will remove my mind from him, refresh me, and put me back into a good space with being with him.

Hopefully.