Conversations

R. and I on the phone last night, as he was still in Atlanta:

R: I told Kristi about your "I'm not a fan" and she said that you are so funny. She also said you are a keeper. Actually, everyone that's met you has said you're a keeper.
Me: Aww.
R: I tell them all that I've already broken up with you.
Me: Oh, that's nice. Were you going to tell me?
R: Yeah, about that, can we have a talk?
Me: Well, let's see, can I pencil you in next week?
R: Sure, I know you're busy.
Me: Great.
R: Now, I know we haven't talked about dating or whatever, but I just want to tell you that I want to be the first guy to dump you. So if we get to that point, and we're gonna break up, could you just tell me so that I can do it first?
Me: Absolutely not. I have a reputation to uphold.


Not thirty minutes later, my best friend calls from Houston:

N: How's R.?
Me: Good. I think we almost had a DTR.
N: And?
Me: Well we didn't, but we could soon. We might be together soon.
N: This from the girl who doesn't do relationships?
Me: It's not about the relationship, I don't care if we call it that or not, I just want to be with him.
N: I'm going to throw up.
Me: You'd never believe what I did.
N: Did you do his laundry?!
Me:: Close. I unloaded and loaded his dishwasher. I don't even unload and load my own dishwasher!
N: Oh, that's it. You've gone down a path you can't return from. You're done.
Me: I just wanted to make him less stressed... he's normally cleaner than I am!
N: Now you're making excuses for him? This is how it all begins.
Me: How's J? (her ex boyfriend she's recently rekindled a romance with, who happens to live in Australia for the time being...)
N: Good. We had a webcam date last week.
[silence]
Me: YOU HAD A WEBCAM DATE?! You're giving me hell for unloading the dishwasher when you had a webcam date?!
N: I hope you get diarrhea.