Oh the irony! and also, you should know that I am ugly

Well friends, we knew that I was destined to be a dating blogger forever... R. and I broke up. I don't really see how you can break up when you weren't exactly together, but apparently I have been dumped, so maybe I'm just bitter.

Here's the thing though: I'm sad, and I cried, but I think I'm more sad about the failure of my first real relationship in many years than I am about the loss of R. himself. After all, he was too into his structured routine for me, among other things.

What he said was that he just didn't feel passionate about our relationship. I understand, we never did anything but kiss, and even that wasn't that good. So maybe I didn't feel passion either. But what if no passion means that he thinks I'm ugly? Could be.

But it doesn't mean I'm ugly, it just means he's not attracted to me. Except I still feel kind of ugly.

Besides the ugliness, there is that in typical me fashion, he tells me that I'm his best friend and he wants us to stay close. Which would be fine if my actual best friend, who happened to be a guy, hadn't died less than three months ago. I told him that would be much harder for me than dating, and he didn't really seem to get it. More reasons he's right and we shouldn't keep dating. Also, I don't know what age his parents divorced. Or what he was like in high school. Or how he felt about what he was like in high school. Or what he thinks about his ten-year reunion. Whatever.

It's all just funny. And it's all just life. And it's all prepping me for the greatness that is to come...

...for instance, I remembered that now that I don't have a kinda-boyfriend, I can start scheming about ways to get that super hot guy at the gym to talk to me... yessss!

Oh, also, he said he decided this before this weekend, but didn't want to tell me before my friends came into town. Which just pissed me off, because it means when we held hands and kissed and flirted on Friday and Saturday, it was all just a lie.

My mom called him a BASSHOLE last night... she couldn't decide between bastard and asshole, so she accidentally combined the two. I love her.