The dichotomy continues, despite the fact that I told them both about the other. R. came and hung out with me and my roommate Friday night, and when I told him that I was dating The Founder, he said that he already knew. He went on to say that it hurt him a lot to see me with other guys at that party we both went to, but I said that I wasn't even into The Founder then--but also apologized, not wanting to have hurt him. He said it was fine. Then he was like, "but you don't like The Founder that much, do you?" and I was kind of taken aback and was like, "I like him a lot, actually." And then he was mostly fine for the rest of the night, except that he kept predicting bad weather for mine and The Founder's tubing outing the next day and that he was super stingy paying for dinner, which frustrated the hell out of my roommate.
Tubing was a lot of fun, and then going out with The Founder was a lot of fun. We acted very couple-y, even holding hands walking down Sixth Street, which is rare for me (you'll recall that R. and I did that and it was a big deal to me). Naturally, we ran into my high school boyfriend on the street, and it was actually really fun to see him. He looked happy, which makes me happy because he hasn't always been. He was a super sweet kid, and I wouldn't mind being friends again. Unfortunately he emailed me today and said something sweet about my beautiful smile, which is nice to hear but probably indicates that he did not in fact notice that I was holding hands with my "boyfriend."
Laying in bed Saturday night I asked The Founder if he was what they call a boyfriend and he said "I don't know, do you want me to be?" and I said, "I don't know." And he said, "why do you ask?" and I said, "lots of people were asking me and I didn't know what to say." At the bar we were at earlier people were asking and I didn't know how to answer, so I gave really awkward answers and my friends made fun of me. Oh well. So we didn't settle that, and I can't believe I was the one to ask the question! Ha. But that's another reason I like him, because despite the fact that he wants to spend all his time ever with me and I don't know if I can handle it, he doesn't need labels, and he is laid back about the existence of an us.
I think it's a bit ironic that he's pretty much the most serious relationship I've had since the high school boyfriend (THE EX was never really a relationship as much as a shit show) and then we see the high school boyfriend. Ohhh speaking of relationship, yesterday I played volleyball for FIVE HOURS and one of my teammates brought his best friend, who is tall and hot and funny and was friendly to me (and I laughed when he mentioned basketball and I asked him if he played and he quickly added, oh, I play everything, baseball, basketball, football...) So then Mr. Everything made me question if I really liked The Founder... and then I realized that this is the part of things that always get me--it's not so much that I want something as much as I don't want to miss out on something. And I'm sure Mr. Everything is a nice, great guy, but he couldn't be as wonderful as The Founder...
He's been bugging me about what I'm doing on my birthday, because it's his best friend's wedding. He finally came right out today and asked me if I would come with him, even though he doubts it is the most thing for me to do on my birthday. I said I would go, I'm not that into my birthday in the first place, and anyway I like him, so of course I would want to go.
Right, so we're not sure if he's my boyfriend...
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