The Balance

I have obviously never been the girl with the boyfriend her ditches her best friends for him because, well, I've never been the girl with the boyfriend. When one of my very best friend Carolyn was bitching about her friends doing that, I said to her, "If I ever do that to you, will you tell me?"

She looked at me, a little bit startled, a little bit sad, and said "It's not that easy. You can't just tell them that."

So she's been gone for six weeks and just got back a little over two weeks ago, and while she was gone I created this whole little life for myself, with new friends and sports and activities, and it's been hard trying to add her back in--not because I don't want to, but because I already have these established routines. And The Founder hasn't made it any easier, always wanting to hang out.

So Carolyn is moving in with me--not as a way to spend time together, as a solution to the problem of her having nowhere to live and me needing more money. But it will help, when we live together, because it will be default hanging out time. Maybe it will even encourage me to hang out at home! :-)

I was talking to my mom about that yesterday, about how I feel like I am so busy and everyone else I know has all this free time to read, go to Starbucks, and google stalk random hookups. She said it is because I do too much--but I like what I am doing! And I want to do more! But she is right, one of my main focuses when I came here was making friends, and then when my best friend died, it doubled that desire. It made me think that I want as many people around me as possible, whereas before I was happy with a few close friends and myself and my writing.

So the point of this is that life is hard to balance. It's hard to balance time with friends and time with yourself, much less adding in a boyfriend... which might be why I've never been interested in sacrificing time with friends or myself for a boyfriend. The Founder might be worth it though. And even if he doesn't end up being that serious, it is good for me to learn to balance everything.

I just hope that Carolyn isn't thinking that I'm the girl who ditches her best friends for a boy that's not even a boyfriend. I won't ever be that girl, friends are too important.