The Saga of Gold's Gym

The Gold's Gym story is just too phenomenal to tell in one post. I will begin it today. So I have been on a bit of a gym-quest for the past month or so because I have never had to pay for a gym before and am therefore incredibly picky--if I'm going to spend money on it, it better be good!

I have also found out that while I wish it wasn't this way, I am highly motivated by attractive men working out around me. They don't have to be available, or straight, and I really don't want them to talk to me, I just need them there. I need them there so when I am on my tenth rep out of 12, I keep going, lest they think I am a weakling.

At any rate, I decide to try the Gold's Gym downtown. It's in the basement, so I walk down the stairs thinking nothing of it. Perhaps from the bottom it looked like a pair of tan, shapely legs descended from Heaven, followed by some red shorts, a t-shirt, boobs, a round face and a ponytail, but I was just there to work out. Manager winks at me and whisks me to their reception area, saying he'll send over one of the guys.

Of course, he sends over the 6'4" lanky former football player who looks like the lovechild of my two most recent ex-boyfriends. Awesome. Turns out, he happens to share a name with one of the aforementioned exes. Phenomenal. Amazingly enough, I hold my ground and do not sign up for a membership then and there (where did my strength come from?!) and after an hour of sassing, teasing, and repeated requests for a week trial membership, I am released into the gym to have my way with the ellipser and some weights.

Having told my new 6'4" friend Josh that I am a skilled basketball player and "throw a tight spiral," he suggests we get together to shoot around or toss the ball around or do god knows what else around. I ask when, he says I have his number. I tell him, "I won't call," he asks why not. I shrug and hastily make my exit. Leave them wanting more, right?

... the next day I get a phone call from the winking manager saying that I have miraculously won a free month's membership to Gold's. How freakin' convenient.